poetry

For Today

I love your willowy body, your feet that walk a little 10-to-2

Your slim, intelligent hands. Your body

I love the wildness in your eyes

Their endless blue

.

I love your laugh, free and real and wanton

I love that you’re a sinner just like me

I love it how you turn your hair behind your ear

I wish that I could see what you can see

.

I’ve missed you all this time that I’ve been missing

Lost in illusion, dreaming life away

And so alone despite you there beside me

I lived by night even though it was day

.

I am here to praise you, I am the ground beneath you

I am a witness to the divinity you incarnate

I don’t want to miss a single moment of your presence

Our time is precious, the hour is getting late

.

I love the way you curl yourself in shyness

Even shyness has a kind of grace

I love that I have witnessed your body changing

You have only grown more beautiful with age

.

I love that you will never stop believing

In the power of truth, and in a brighter day

I see bright days illuminate our future

But first I’ll learn to love you for today.

Complete

You were born in the shade of a golden age

That was gilded with the blood of slaves

And though you never let on your life begun

In a world haunted by a million graves
.

You made corned beef hash on Mondays 

And you rode to our house on the bus

And though I know you felt we were lazy and spoilt

Still you never made a fuss

.
I suppose your wisdom was in what you didn’t say 

And in your quiet, careful love

For you never forgot a birthday

Or the names of the ones we loved

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You were often overlooked at parties

Though you didn’t seem to mind

You sat alone with your favorite drink

Thinking of earlier times

.
I wonder what you made of what the world became 

In a century of accelerating change

I wonder if it touched you much at all

For you always seemed the same

.
I think I’ll remember you most of all 

For those quiet winter nights

When I drove you home

In the artificial light

.
I used to ask you questions about the past

About what it was like for you as a girl

But you never gave me very much

I think we came from different worlds
.

And I’d come inside for a cup of tea

To your cosy little flat

We would watch a game show on TV

And that was the end of that

.
I suppose I never really knew you

But that’s no reason to be downcast

For the thing that counts is I had no doubt 

Of your love until the last. 

Going up a mountain

When I reached the trailhead it was snowing
I thought about turning back
But I got out of the car and got going
My rucksack on my back

.

The mountain was shrouded in forest
The trail rose steeply at first
As I walked I found myself hostage
To my habit of fearing the worst

.

The woods looked alien and hostile
And I couldn’t quite settle my breath
I slipped on some ice and I fretted:
What happens if I break my leg?

.

I’m alone, so alone on this mountain
That I climb on a cold, winter’s day
I came here to find something forgotten
What it is though I cannot quite say

.

In a while my breathing relaxes
But my head’s still messy with thoughts
They pull me along like an eddy
As I try to recall what I was taught:

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Thoughts are not you, they’re phenomenon
Just the same as the falling of snow
See them with the indifference you see weather
And the distance between you will grow

.

But learning the lesson is one thing
Applying it is a whole different game
Divesting yourself of the fabricated self
Shedding a history of shame    

.

At the top an old fire tower stands helpless
One more thing we left out in the rain
Slowly coming apart with the passing of time
Its decline covered up with fresh paint

.

The descent brings a peace unexpected  
As I am enclosed once again by the trees  
I watch myself move with a feeling of youth
And something in me seems to go free

.

I feel ancient and grave like a rock form
I feel childish, as new as this day
And I’m coming apart with the passing of time
Who I am I can no longer say

.
 
I’m alone, so alone on this mountain
That I climb in the first snows of the year
I came here to find something forgotten  
In the silence it will all become clear.  

House

I bought a house 

Because they said you should

It was medium-sized 

All in all, quite good. 
.

The first year we were there 

The septic tank went

Some men came with a truck 

It was money well spent

.

Because the shit piles up 

If you don’t take care

All those Sisyphean tasks

Become hard to bare

.

Bins out on Thursday

Recycling every other week

Sweep, clean and wash stuff

Try to keep things neat

.

The wife’s better at surfaces 

But she’s as messy as a pup

I put things away 

But I can’t be arsed to cook

. 

We live here with our daughter 

She’s not four feet tall 

Six years-old

The lodestone of it all

.

I can’t say it suits me

The home owner tag

But it’s probably better than renting

Which was also a drag

.

I once met a hermit

He had a hut by a mine

He drank like a fish

And existed out of time

.

I couldn’t wait to get away

His home was filled with ghosts

My home is filled with plastic toys

And clothes, and broken phones

.

I sort of think I love it though

While I kid myself I don’t

I just never thought I’d ever 

Get to be fully grown. 

Do your grieving now

Do your grieving now

For one day you’ll lose everything you have

Say goodbye to the things you love

They’re never coming back

.

Look death in the face

Or forever hide in fear

The life you know is but a dream

And one day we’ll all go clear

.

Cry a river, my sweet friend

Feel your heart break in two

Watch everything you built turn to dust

And still know that love is you

.

Do your grieving now

And the dread will finally leave

Acceptance is the start of faith

Find the courage to grieve.

A secret in our midst

I saw a bear in the forest today

She moved something like this…

A silent giant, a thing of grace

A secret in our midst

She kept on coming until she saw

The stranger down the line

Two beings seeing, sensing, sharing

A moment out of time

I saw a bear in the forest today

She came and went so quick

A fleeting glimpse, a waking dream

A secret in our midst